Crap, I Mean Craft
got out of the yard and waited by the bus stop cuz this week is summer camp at Humor Bloggers dot com, yay! was waiting for the summer camp bus to pick me up when the human found me and told me my summer camp was only on the computer so we came back home and now I guess im at summer camp. somehow I thought it would be more… I dont know, dramatic than this.
so anyway today is crap day and I made something for crap day to share with everyone but the human wont let me bring it inside so I will just have to tell you about it. worked all weekend on getting it just right, its got kibble for body and grass for fiber and a red bug for color and…
“oh, Nooter?”
yes, human?
“Its craft day, not crap day. Crafts; that’s where you make something adorable to share with your friends.”
oh. ohhhhh. hmm, well ive already got this…
“NO! Nobody thinks that’s adorable but you. Why don’t you make a nice macaroni picture?”
mmm…. macaroni and cheese…
“OK, so that’s not going to work. How about using some glitter and paste and making…”
mmm…. paste…
“Good grief. Alright lets try this, lets make a hat. Here, take this newspaper and fold it like this, then like this, and like this, then…”
(rip), (rip), (riiip), (tear), (rip)
“What are you doing?”
im making something
“You’re making a mess. That’s not arts and crafts.”
oh so youre an art critic now?
“That’s not… oh, nevermind. Why don’t we make a little pouch for your snacks, ok? Start with these pieces of leather and some cord. We’re going to sew the two pieces together…”
snaks?
“Yes, it’s for your snacks, so you can carry them around with you.”
can we have the snaks now?
“Not yet, lets finish this project first.”
where are they? why cant we have some snaks? why cant we have them now? what kind of summer camp is this anyway. first you criticize my artwork then you tease me about snaks I cant have.
“Nooter…”
youre not a very good counselor, youre supposed to help me with things and make me happy and confident and teach me stuff and were supposed to play together and make new friends and sing and go swimming and…
“Nooter…”
…going to notify the aspca and let them know about this sham of an operation. im going to write my councilman, im going to call my attorney, im going to notify the tv, radio and newspapers, im going to…
“(sigh) Fine, I’ll get you a snack.”
you will?
“Yes. Sit there for a minute and I’ll be right back.” (walks out of the room)
hee hee hee!
MMMMMMMMmmmmmm,Snacks! We should have had a snack day at the HBDC summer camp!
Nooter, you are so damn spoiled. Go bring your human a dead bird right this instant, to show your appreciation.
I figured you would start with crap and somehow end up getting a snack from the human. You have him trained so well! Good job, Nooter!
Nooter, you are clearly part of the “No Puppy Left Behind” generation. I’ll bet you talked him into letting you chase squirrels, too, didn’t you?
hello nooter its dennis the vizsla dog hay i dont think yoo want to git involvd in this hole camp thing i hav herd that camps ar rooteenly freekwented by ax weelding maniaks hoo want nuthing more then to hak up all the campers wich reely kind of tayks the fun owt of camping!!! ok bye
Humans take rather a lot of training don’t they …….
I think you should have done some paw printing. The human would like that. They look particularly effective on light coloured rugs ……
Wow Nooter…you really have the human wrapped around that paw of yours…you played him like a pro!