And a-One, And a-Choo
(KER-CHOOO!)
oooooh, cant stop sneezing. (KER-CHOO!) (KER-CHOO!)
the human was working with something on the kitchen counter just now and I really really wanted to find out what it was cuz it usually means… (KER-CHOOO!)
…it usually means some kinda tasty snak is coming my way so I did my best begging and… (KER-CHOOO!)
…my best begging and my new ‘abandoned puppy’ look so hed feel sorry for me… (KER-CHOOO!)
…so finally he sprinkled something in a napkin and I thought he was going to show me but he kept teasing and not quite letting me see so I tried to go up on my hind legs a bit… (KER-CHOOO!)
…(sniff) and since I couldnt see I was sniffing like crazy and then he put the napkin just low enough for my nose to see what was in it and I sniffed and sniffed and then I had a funny smell that made my nose curl up and my eyes water and I shook my head a little but couldnt get rid of that funny feeling and thats when the sneezing started.
just a minute…
(KEEER-CHOOO!)
ok. so I was sneezing so much I was dizzy and started seeing spots and figured that was it, the human finally poisoned me so he can take all my stuff and im going blow my brains out all over the floor from sneezing. tried to go into the other room but my eyes were squinty and watery and my nose was trying to crawl up inside my brain and I kept bumping into furniture so I stopped and spread my legs apart for balance and just stood there and sneezed and he just stood there and laughed, and I sneezed some more and he laughed some more.
and now…(KER-CHOOO!)
and now im sure my brain has come dislodged and is bouncing around in my head like a dodgeball every time I sneeze and… do you ever wonder where certain words come from? like sneeze, who thought up that one? and sometimes when you say a word over and over it doesnt even sound like a word anymore.
sneeze.
sneeze.
sneeze.
sneeze. heh heh.
anyway, if the human really is trying to poison me to take my stuff then I should get a lawyer and an agent and sue him in court then I could write a book about it and make a movie too. they could call it ‘the tragic end of one brave lad’. oh!, and then theyd have to let me into the theater to see it and the human could sit next to me and we could have popcorn and we would laugh and cry and everyone would cheer for us! after that we would go to hollywood together where I could step in wet cement and everyone would remember me forever and…
hey.
I stopped sneezing.
finally! wait, if I stopped sneezing then that means im not dying and im not going to have a movie and sit on oprahs sofa and have random companies send me snak samples. crap.
(sniff) (sniff) hmmm, smells like the humans cooking something in the kitchen. better go see what it is; maybe I can con a sample out of him…
Oh, poor Nooter. No Oprah for you. (That’s probably a good thing. I hear she eats dogs.)
The human should be ashamed for making you sneeze like that. I hope he gave you a bit of steak.
Bless you!
Nooter, take some of that powder stuff and sprinkle it all over his pillow. You can laugh at him all night while HE sneezes. And you could write a book about that and title it “Nooter’s Revenge,” then you still might get on the Oprah show, although to be quite honest, I don’t know why you’d want to. She makes ME sneeze…and her snaks are awful.
I don’t know Nooter. I think your human was seasoning you.
Nooter that is really bad. One time I ate a bumble bee snak. I didn’t sneeze but I tried to get my mouth to stop hurting so I rubbed it on everything. Mom gave me cottage cheese to make my mouth cold and it helped. Mom told me not to just grab snaks out of the air when they fly by but most of them taste good and fresh! If you go to hollywood and have a book and a movie too, can I come to the premier? They have good snaks at those. Your friend. Harry.
Sorry Nooter, but I giggled a bit reading this.
Nooter! It’s been a week (or so)! Where are you? Am I going to have to eat this bacon all by myself?
Dude. Are you okay? I just realized I haven’t heard from you or about you in a while. I really hope you aren’t sick and having to go to the vet. I went to the vet and got two shots. I had four people hold me so one could stick me. I hate those guys. They all pretend they are nice and then they try and smother me and kill me. I hope you are okay. Your friend. Harry.
I’m reporting the human to doggie social services. Having a laugh at the expense of you health. You could have got a serious sinus infection. You must retaliate!
Nooter, we’re all missing you. Are you okay little Dude?
maybe you need allergy shots like me!
:o(
Hey Nooter! Where are you?
Hope you’re just on vacation and didn’t sniff something worse for your brain this time.
XOXOXO
NGIP
Noooooooottttttteeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Where are you??!!!
Miss you Nooter!
ok Nooter you have been gone long enough… COME BACK
No seriously, where are you?
Nooter….? The Human….? anyone?