A Taxing Situation
got in trouble yesterday.
the human was sitting at the table with a bunch of paperwork and I asked him if all that had anything to do with requisitioning more snaks and he said “No, it’s for taxes”.
‘texas!’ I said. ‘why are we going to texas?’
“We’re not going to Texas. This is government stuff.” he said, giving me a long look. “Really wish I didn’t have to do this.”
‘oh, I see’ I replied, though I didnt understand at first.
the human got up and went into the bathroom and I sat there wondering about government paperwork and texas, and suddenly it became obvious – he was dropping a hint that he wanted my help with this situation.
put my front feet up on the chair so I could see the table top, then leaned in and picked up the top piece of paperwork in my mouth, then went back down on the ground and proceeded to shred. take that you stupid government! also, I really like the sound of when im shredding paper, it gives me a sense of accomplishment.
one after the other I shredded and shredded, knowing he was going to be so proud of me. was about halfway through the stack when he came back into the room and when he saw how much I was helping him he just stood there with his mouth open.
wagged my tail cuz I like being the object of proudness but then he took me by the collar and led me downstairs into the basement. as he was closing the door he glared at me and said “You owe me for a roll of Scotch tape.”
oopsie….
Oh, Nooter. At least you didn’t eat all of that stuff. You might have been sick.
Nooter. I’m so sorry you got in trouble FOR NO REASON. You were just trying to help. Your friend. Harry.
Nooter, I’ll bet it didn’t taste very good, did it.
Awwww, you were just trying to help. Some humans just don’t know how lucky they are have little shredders like you.
I wonder what he was doing in the bathroom …… anyhoo, it’s his fault for leaving ’stuff’ around ….. you can’t be expected to deal with everything ….
……. you could have blamed the squirrels BTW ……
I guess your human really wasn’t thinking at the time how you could have saved him a bundle. You see, Nooter, he could have sent the tax form in to the government and claimed, “the dog at my tax return” and all monies owed would have been forgiven.
Nooter, tell your human that if he doesn’t appreciate your help there are plenty of people on Capitol Hill who would pay you top dollar to shred papers.
Say, Nooter, what you did here is what we humans like to call “wish fulfillment” …