today is national safety pup day and you know me, im all about safety, so thought I would share my personal safety checklist with everyone so you could be safe too

1.    when the rambunctious thunder booms in the rain, hide under the bed for safety
2.    chew each piece of food at least twice before swallowing
3.    stand back when the human next door uses a lighter to check the level of gas in the tanks on his bike
4.    always wear a hardhat if youre sitting under a tree with squirrels and pinecones
5.    dont stand in front of a toyota, for safety
6.    check the structural integrity of the fence before calling those passing rottweilers ‘poopyheads’
7.    be sure to wear a safety pin on your collar or lapel to show that youre for safety
8.    dont jump up & down with little humans on the bed when the ceiling fans on
9.    if it has an electrical plug attached to it dont give it to a girl as a gift, or if you do, wear a hardhat for safety
10.    stand in a hard to reach space, like behind the sofa, when telling your roommate about how you accidentally ate the remote control from his new tv set
11.    do not stick your head into a fat ladys purse looking for snaks
12.    ditto for her skirt
13.    dont run with scissors in your mouth, for safety
14.    be sure not to hang out with jack bauer when hes having a bad day
15.    always wear gloves and safety glasses when handling brussels sprouts – based poop
16.    try not to wear a red shirt to a fully interactive star trek convention
17.    at a wedding, dont try to play fetch with the bouquet of flowers when its being thrown to the human girls
18.    do not chase those stupid geese out onto the thin lake ice at the park
19.    change up my internet password more often – ‘321bacon’ has about run its course
20.    put on a hardhat when the little human next door starts throwing his pointy toys over the fence
21.    make sure the sliding glass door is open before charging out after a squirrel you see sitting on the fence
22.    never let a stranger approach without loudly yelling stranger!  stranger!  stranger!  stranger!
23.    while riding in the open bed of a pickup, do not tease the human by telling him hes driving like gramma
24.    dont stop to take a nap in a dimly lit high traffic area, for safety

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