Activist : Lobbyist : Nooter
go ahead, call me an agitator. call me a con artist, a trickster, a deceiver; ive been called worse. after posting this manifesto I will go underground once again, this time into the shadows of the back of the closet.
I know what ive done will be considered wrong by some and yet I have no regrets. I cannot, if my position is to be taken seriously. im aware friendships will be tested over this matter, and that is a high price to pay, but I must stand true to my convictions.
even now the supposed ‘forces of good’ are amassing against me. created a diversion in the basement earlier (yelled incessantly at a stack of boxes until the human came down and began rifling through them for the source of my protest) then slipped quietly away so I could put my plan into motion.
sometimes a guy has to take a stand and do what he feels is right, however unpopular it may be at the time. the streets of history are littered with bland memories of those who chose to sit idly while wrongs were committed. I can not, will not, be cast in the same lot as them, for today I stand up for my rights and set an example that others may follow.
today I take my protest to the next level. today it transforms from dialog and open discussion into an act that cannot be ignored. today I move forward with a deed so shocking, so powerful that it resonates to the very core of all that we hold dear. for today my friends, I have kidnapped… the television remote control.
I know, I know. your shocked gasps and whispered murmurs betray your thoughts. “No, not Nooter, he would never stoop to something this scandalous, this outrageous.” but its true.
so I will continue to remain in hiding, or as they say, ‘awol’ (Absent WithOut Leash) with my hostage until my demands are met, in hope that those other parties involved will soon see the error of their ways, in hope that they favor a peaceful coexistence over mistrust and deceit, in hope that they understand it is more profitable to be teammates than opponents.
my demands are simple.
from this point forward I will require an au jus sauce with my kibble.
that is all.
Just remember, Nooter, if you actually chew the remote control to pieces, it becomes useless as a hostage.
Nooter, you have gone too far this time. Return the remote before it;s too late. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about the Super Bowl tomorrow, with no remote. What have you done???
Nooter? My dog Tazz peed on the TV remote and broke it a month after we had bought the TV. it’s been 8 years and to this day my husband one less pat on the head than he does Mocha. I hope you know what you’re doing.
That was Bee and not Mocha. I guess she forgot to log off.
I hope that the human doesn’t bow to your demands Nooter …… it’s the thin end of a very thick wedge ……
just wanna say - hooray for doritos!!
Oh, Nooter. You are a silly dog. All you have to do is bring in the paper and make coffee for the human and he will give you your gravy. Return the remote before it’s too late.
P.S. The human called and has asked me to send Cat to help find the remote.
Oh Nooter, I understand your pain but I fear no good can come of this.
A dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do. Harry.