Nooter’s Most Wanted
press release:
friday, december the 18th, 2009 began just like any other day for nooter, a relatively happy suburban pup. he woke up, scratched himself, went outside to empty a nagging bladder then came back in to visit with his human who was busy preparing breakfast.
as the human ate his oatmeal the two laughed and joked about current events, after which he waited patiently near a heat vent while the human showered and prepared to leave for work. as was their usual morning routine, the last thing the human would do was place four or five snak treats in hidden places around the house for nooter to discover throughout the day. this day, however, would be different.
when the human picked up the bag of snaks, they were both surprised to discover it was completely empty. nooter was well aware his supply was getting dangerously low, the human had pointed that out the previous day and promised to pick up some more during the upcoming weekend, but there should have been enough to meet todays needs.
upon closer inspection the bag was found to have a hole chewed in it, big enough for a snak or snaks to pass through. as they looked at each other the reality of the moment set in and they realized they had a thief and a vandal in their midst.
authorities are asking for your help in apprehending their number one suspect- crum e. mouse. crum was seen lurking about the place in recent weeks and has pulled stunts like this before, getting into a bag of kibble, a container of motor oil, and nearly severing the television cable feed.
actual sightings have been brief, crum possesses nearly supernatural quickness and agility. he is not housebroken and refuses to wear pants, which results in his leaving a rather unpleasant reminder of his visits.
please call 1-800-555-s.n.u.f., thats 1-800-555-7683 if you have information on this dangerous criminal. if spotted, do not attempt to apprehend the suspect on your own. he is known to be a biter and a squealer, and should be detained by trained professionals.
[...] Nooter the Dog has issued an all points bulletin for a stupid mouse. [...]
I GOT HIM CORNERED.
OMG, I sure hope it’s a him! Seen twice today scampering along the wall next to the dog food.
So far has eluded four days of old fashioned traps with cheese and peanut butter.
Hoping the weight gain will slow him down.
Have upped the ante, to some hi-tech gadget that emits a sound that humans can’t hear but drives mice away. (Yeah, right.)
Good luck Noot!
And you refused my cat?
Sheesh!
Glue traps, my friend, glue traps. That way not only to you thwart his dastardly plans, you get to watch him suffer.
Eeeeeeek *standing on the table quivering*
Do you have a cat? I’m sure he/she could take care of the problem, Noot.
hello nooter its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow yikes!!! we had rats in the garadj not long ago dada kawt like three of them in an elektrik zap trap and then he kawt a kuple of mice too it think the rats and mice of nimh wer trying to set up a noo kommyoon their or sumthing!!! ok bye
Bwahaha! ‘refuses to wear pants’ hahaha!
My husband is sympathetic to those little rodents and had a fit when I tried to kill one that was outside and lurking around trying to come into my house.
I told him Mickey Mouse has him brainwashed.
First the birds and now the mouse. Nooter, I think the animal kingdom is out to get you. Or your snaks. Maybe your human needs to put up a no trespassing sign at your house. And maybe a “no streaking” sign too.